Alright, so he's done it AGAIN. Ignored your call, taken all day to text you back, disappeared for two or three days (and you WANT to wonder if he's still alive but you KNOW he is, he's just being a dick -- he's probably a Gemini) and what's worse? HE'S STILL HERE. Ya, it's the common case of the man you love. Fortunately, you're not the ONLY one. YOU! who wants to kill your boyfriends, and Here's How:
1) Just Break Up. Give it a week and he'll be coming back. And when he does..
2) Shoot him. It's not hard to hide a gun. Just throw it in the La Brea tar pits. (just kidding)
3) Cheat on him. With his best friend. In his bed. In front of the camera. While he's at work. On his birthday. (this works) =D
4) Kill the dog.(don't do this)
5) Sell his car. Take the money and run (Vegas is a great place to hide).
Ladies, if you want to kill your boyfriend, it's because you love him.. If he makes you mad, he probably also makes you giggle when you think about him. Remember that you have him wrapped around your finger and if you give a long enough leash (mine is thirty miles), he'll always come back home. And when he does, kill him. bahahahahaha
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