Appreciation

 

what gets your attention? Think  about it. Do you notice the beat of your heart, the comfort of a hot shower, or the milk in the fridge? My guess is that these things (and a million other things that are commonplace in your life) do NOT get your attention. And if they don't get your attention, then they don't get your appreciation.

Why aren't we appreciative for the things that are so essential in our life? Without them we would be miserable. But as long as we have them, we don't even notice.

Human nature is such that there is an INVERSE relationship between frequency and appreciation.
The more you get it (whatever "it" is), the more you expect it, and the less likely you are to appreciate it. And it makes no difference how crucial "it" is. The beat of your heart is a perfect example. There is nothing more crucial in your life. But there's also nothing more frequent. And probably nothing you take more for granted.  

This explains why it's so common for people to take each other for granted. As the frequency
with which we do things for each other increases (as the years go by), the experience (and the
expression) of gratitude decreases. 
 
It gets to the point where people peripheral to the marriage feel more valued than husbands and
wives feel toward each other.Husbands and wives do more for each other than anyone else in their lives, but THAT'S THE PROBLEM! A man's wife, for example, has rubbed his neck, kept a stock of his favorite cigars & drinks, and planned their anniversary celebration every year for 23 years. But he feels and expresses more gratitude when his new secretary brings him a gift from her trip to Mexico.

A woman's husband has cut the lawn, paid the bills, and taken her away on her birthday every year for 23 years. But she felt and expressed more gratitude when Uncle Billy fixed the kitchen sink.

There's an irony to this dynamic. We're so appreciative when someone does something for us ONCE, right? So whatever it was that warranted our gratitude once, shouldn't it warrant more gratitude the SECOND time? I mean if it was so wonderful early in your relationship when your spouse made a home-cooked meal, then wouldn't it be MORE wonderful the second time, and the third,
and the fourth? But it doesn't work that way, does it? It's logical; but it's not psychological. 
The psychology of it is that it becomes LESS wonderful in your eyes.
Isn't it amazing that the blessings right in front of our eyes EVERY DAY are the ones we're least likely to see. And the ones that surprise us every now and then monopolize our gratitude.