Why you really want a Date..

* Free Food!!! :-D
* You get to pretend you're someone else
* Easy to be the best-dressed
* someone can fill you in on what you missed when you left the movie to pee
* you'll go crazy if you never leave the house
* easy way to make mom disapprove
* you can meet lots of new people without having to see them in meetings
* Free sex
* you get hilarious stories to tell your friends
* begins the unavoidable but necessary process of elimination (if necessary. LOL)

The truth about Jobs & Men

Investment banker: I look better in my double breasted suit than I do in my birthday suit, but I’m rich so I hope you wont notice.
Producer: I’m charming with little substance and a little substance-abuse problem.
Postal worker: I’m really lazy or kind of crazy, but probably both!
E-commerce executive: I have no idea what I’m doing, but I could be a millionaire before anyone finds out.
Editor: I have a half-finished novel in my computer.. and always will.
Special ed. Teacher: I’m above materialism and by the way, I drive a dodge dart.
Entrepreneur: I’m always looking for my next hot girl.. errmm, deal.
Artist: I come from money, I run from money.
Lawyer: we will argue, I will win, and you will pay for it.
Actor: I didn’t get enough attention as a child, but I did lots of orthodontia.
Stand up comedian: I didn’t get enough attention as a child, and I didn’t get any orthodontia.
High school teacher: I didn’t make it as a stand up comedian.
Graphic designer: can we pretend I’m an artist?!

How To Kill Your Boyfriend

Alright, so he's done it AGAIN. Ignored your call, taken all day to text you back, disappeared for two or three days (and you WANT to wonder if he's still alive but you KNOW he is, he's just being a dick -- he's probably a Gemini) and what's worse? HE'S STILL HERE. Ya, it's the common case of the man you love. Fortunately, you're not the ONLY one. YOU! who wants to kill your boyfriends, and Here's How:

1) Just Break Up. Give it a week and he'll be coming back. And when he does..

2) Shoot him. It's not hard to hide a gun. Just throw it in the La Brea tar pits. (just kidding)

3) Cheat on him. With his best friend. In his bed. In front of the camera. While he's at work. On his birthday. (this works) =D

4) Kill the dog.(don't do this)

5) Sell his car. Take the money and run (Vegas is a great place to hide).

Ladies, if you want to kill your boyfriend, it's because you love him.. If he makes you mad, he probably also makes you giggle when you think about him. Remember that you have him wrapped around your finger and if you give a long enough leash (mine is thirty miles), he'll always come back home. And when he does, kill him. bahahahahaha

what's the hottest thing a guy can do in bed?

I love how my man can use all the furniture to his advantage. He piles up the pillows beneath me to reach that oh so perfect angle, while the mirrors are turned for our reflection. He also uses the bed as wrestling mat so he can flip and toss me while we play "Who's on top." (Loewe Baxter)

I love when my guy wakes me in the middle of the night. Before I have time to think about it I'm having an orgasm and enjoying every moment of it. (anonymous)

I love it when we are both naked (me on top) and we start by french kissing... then he pushes me up so that I am sitting on his face while he licks my Vajayjay. Unbelievable orgasms! (Dyana P)

I love it to feel the weight of him on top of me - there's something very primal about the feeling, and it actually helps me come faster, though I'm not sure why. Also, when he uses his tongue on my ear - there's a certain thing he does that feels something between an orgasm and a tickle that make me flail around wildly. It's so pleasurable sometimes I think I'm going to pass out. He has to pin my arms and legs, which makes it even hotter! (Rebecca)

My guy is strong but gentle, making me feel safe yet vulnerable to his love. He not only goes down on me; he loves pleasing me that way, no matter how long it takes! His eagerness has rubbed off on me and now doing the same for him has become a turn on. (anonymous)

The sexiest thing my husband does is letting himself go. I love to hear all the sounds he makes when I turn him on. Many times guys think its cool to be calm, but I say make some noise boys! (anonymous)

Self-Worth by Albert Einstein

theoretical physicist who is widely regarded as one of the most influential person that ever lived.

o Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
o Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
o I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination
o A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.
o Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move
in the opposite direction.
o Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
o Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
o Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.
o I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
o If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
o If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
o Imagination is more important than knowledge.
o Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
o It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
o Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
o Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized.
o Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
o Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

Meatball Sandwich!!!

i got this recipe from a cooking website this morning, and i was really really hungry so i made the sandwich.
it was sooooooooo goooooooddd! u defnitely shoud try this at home kids!

INGREDIENTS:
1 pound ground beef
3/4 cup bread crumbs
2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg, beaten
1 French baguette
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 pinch salt, or to taste
1 (14 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
4 slices provolone cheese

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, gently mix by hand the ground beef, bread crumbs, Italian seasoning, garlic, parsley, Parmesan cheese, and egg. Shape into 12 meatballs, and place in a baking dish.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until cooked through.
Meanwhile, cut the baguette in half lengthwise, and remove some of the bread from the inside to make a well for the meatballs.Brush with olive oil, and season with garlic powder and salt.
Slip the baguette into the oven during the last 5 minutes of the meatball's time, or until lightly toasted.
While the bread toasts, warm the spaghetti sauce in a saucepan over medium heat.
When the meatballs are done, use a slotted spoon to transfer them to the sauce.
Spoon onto the baguette and top with slices of provolone cheese.
Return to the oven for 2 to 3 minutes to melt the cheese.
Cool slightly, cut into servings, and enjoy!

IS IT OK TO…..

no need to get your knickers in a twist. experts reveal how to cringe-proof your dates and avoid relationship faux pas...

…WEAR SPANX ON A DATE?
“Yes”: the most important thing about a date is feel good about yourself, so if a body-control underwear gives you confidence, go for it!

…SCHEDULE SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP?
“Definitely!”: this is absolutely ok say Dr Janet Hall (sex-life solutions). It is easy to become lazy about sex in the long term because we’re too tired or busy. But its vital for a healthy relationship, so there’s nothing wrong with forward planning. It could be even interesting if you put a Theme each time… cant wait!!! =D

…TAKE AN OVERNIGHT BAG WHEN HE HASN’T ASKED YOU TO STAY?
“NO”: if you think you might stay, just pop a toothbrush and an extra tiny thong in your purse.

…PEE WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHEN YOURE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
“Yes”: it is ok, but don’t make a habit of it. Sometimes a little bit of innocent mystery can be a good thing.

…OFFER TO PAY ON A DATE, BUT BE MORTIFIED WHEN HE ACCEPTS?
“yes”: the person who requests the pleasure should pay for the pleasure (Dr.Bryant). “in the other words, if he asked you out, he should be picking up the tab. It’s polite to offer to contribute, but its fair enough to feel surprised when he accepts.”

…TELL HIM HE’S THE BEST LOVER EVER (even if its not true)?
“Hmm, Maybe”: “the male ego needs to be stroked,” says Dr Hall. It doesn’t matter what happened with other men before him – the key is to make him like he is the most wonderful man in the world. In return for your praise, he will think you are wonderful too, and you will benefit in and out of the bedroom. Thank God I don’t have to lie, my Man is the Best Lover EVVAAAARRRR!! =P

…TURN DOWN SEX TO PUNISH HIM?
“Never!!!!!!”: it is a sure-fire way to make him feel rejected and frustrated. Don’t do it!

…LOVE HIM TO BITS BUT FEEL PLEASED TO GET A NIGHT ON YOUR OWN?
“yes”: wanting time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re not compatible. Just be true to your self and your partner, are you spending your time your self… with friends or with someone you might end up having an affair with... if it is the last one, then it’s a NO for you.

…FAKE AN ORGASM TO MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD?
“No”: be brave and talk about what you like in bed. Being honest will mean you can both enjoy yourselves.

ways to make a fresh start

1. Buy a magazine you don’t usually read but interests you somehow.

2. Use familiar foods in an unexpected way. (Orange/ red onion/ cashew on your salad)

3. Switch the way you do your hair. This can affect your frame of mind. For example, a ponytail is a casual playful look that can make you feel more energetic and carefree. Wearing it down & straight make you feel more feminine, wearing it sideways and wavy makes you look sexy and feel sexy.

4. Listen to the radio instead of your i-pod.

5. Sleep on the opposite side of the bed.

6. Visit a family member you respect (but has different taste) & borrow their book.

7. Move your laptop to another room. Different atmosphere affect your work.

8. When you’re out dinner with friend/partner. Each order dish for the other person.

9. Have sex blindfolded or with your hands and feet tied up. Restricting one sense will amplify you and your sex-mate.

10. Buy leopard print peep-toe pumps. (That’s when u haven’t have one) I have 3 of them already, and they add attitude whether you dress style is casual, conservative or sophisticated. ;-)

11. Ask a same sex co-worker for a drink, see if you can be friends with them.

12. Request a free trial session with a personal trainer, and make that as your routine for a month.

13. Offer to babysit for family or a friend.

14. Stop by a free concert that’s unlike any music you would download.

15. While shopping with a friend, ask her to choose something she thinks will look hot on you.

16. Get a kind of DVD that you not normally watch. (foreign film/documentary)

17. Ask your partner if he/she will treat you a massage somewhere unexpected.

18. Offer to housesit for others, being in different neighborhood refresh your mind.

19. Buy a meal that you have NEVER eat before.

20. Reconnect with a friend you haven’t spent much time with lately.

21. Go to a place you used to visit years ago, but stopped going to.

22. Eat in a new restaurant

23. Re-arrange furniture in bedroom or house. I used to do this often, and this is my favorite way to make a fresh start. =)